When I wrote my first novel, New Roman Times, I did so with the deliberate idea of making it holistically binary. The novel came in two parts. The cover, designed by my art director wife, depicted a standoff between a red state and a blue state. Even the protagonist’s name, Braxton Alexander, was an amalgamation of a Confederate general (Braxton Bragg) and a Union general (Alexander McDowell McCook.)

And while that novel was presented as an alternate history of America, it has become increasingly obvious that we are living in the The Age of Either-Or. The most recent manifestation on a cultural level comes in the discussion of a “national divorce,” perpetuated by podcasters, pundits and the cognoscenti of the Very Online who, starved from enjoying a meaningful revolution from days of yore are attempting to will one into being with memes and repetitive platitudes. In one sense it’s a natural culmination of the division that’s been encouraged by the corporate press who have removed all nuance and gradation, preferring as the ratings dictate to paint with two colors: one representing good, the other bad.

Lines are frequently drawn in pop culture with as much ferocity over Taylor Swift albums, television shows with small audiences, and graphic design. All it took was the recent We ♥️ NYC logo to bring out rabid responses on both sides of the creative aisle. Remaining indifferent on this topic was akin to showing disinterest regarding Apartheid; one had to hate it with the power of a thousand suns, or defend it with a level of empathy befitting Mother Teresa.

While a few cooler heads did speak up, they did not prevail because the Age Of Either-Or is anathema to the Age Of Reason. It is interesting to note that few if any who were defending the design’s attempt to communicate something different actually liked it. But it’s also beside the point. Your opinion on everything is everything. No matter how inconsequential the subject matter, or fleeting the trending topic, your opinion must be strong at all times, and it must be known at all times. Otherwise, no one will see you. No surprise, then, that the phrase “We see you” also has two opposing meanings. It could be said as a show of support. But it could also be contemptuous. We see right through you.

The Age Of Either-Or does not bode well for anyone wanting to live in a society made up of people who are capable of nonpartisan thinking. Two large camps have been created with or without our approval, and never the twain shall meet. Perhaps it’s just as well because these camps are becoming even more grotesque versions of themselves.

It might be helpful to remember that “critic” wasn’t always a pejorative term. It used to be a somewhat respectable profession—at least as far as restaurants, art, music and books were concerned. It certainly doesn’t help that clickbait reviewers peddling outrage are being negative for negativity’s own sake. But now one runs the risk of being labeled a hater no matter how slight or unobjectionable the critique. 

It is ironic that the ones most likely to call another a hater are the ones who claim to be empaths. This group will passionately run to the defense of anything, no matter how mediocre, or anyone, no matter how undeserving, provided they are both in alignment. At least the critics' words aren’t hollow.

At this point you might be thinking it would be beneficial to spend some time offline with real people. I regret to inform you that I do so all the time, and still encounter the exact same issue in real life.

Just last week at a big dinner, I had the temerity to ask someone if it was really necessary to send Ukraine so much money when millions of Americans are living paycheck-to-paycheck. I was called a “Putin apologist.” When I politely suggested it might be more interesting if we set aside personal insults and put our heads together to find a solution, I was summarily dismissed.

This happens frequently—perhaps internet conversation bleeding over into all walks of life. People are willing to talk, but only if you adhere to all of their points of view. Otherwise, you are “blocked and reported.” It’s hard to say if this is an indication of how far we’ve come or how much we’ve lost. But if we can’t step back from the brink and stop turning every little thing into a verbal assault, we’re not going to make it.